Sometimes I put things in my Amazon cart just to feel productive, or proactive. Or both. There is something so satisfying about the combination of the laziest form of shopping mixed with the terror of my overactive, type A, listy mclisterson brain. It’s like a making a beautiful but dysfunctional materialism baby. The good thing is that I hardly ever buy the things in my Amazon cart. I put them there, they sit for days, and then I move them to my wishlist. If I really need/want something I’ll buy it right away, 1-click, like ripping off a band-aid, because I know that if I don’t the red knight black knight fight between my uber money conscious budget side and my socially trained consumer materialistic side will ensue and someone (me) will get hurt (read: headache, tummy ache, etc). So when I feel like I ate too much pizza the night before or I want to go running but can’t, I find myself putting chia seeds and a vegetable spiralizer (zoodles!) and new running shoes and a hat or whatever in my Amazon cart. These things will lead to me drinking smoothies and giving up pasta or finally signing up for the half marathon, or that is what my intention is. I’m pretty sure there is some psychological term or study or disorder associated with this, but I kind of don’t care.
I’m going to go look up doggie doors on Amazon now. Analyze that one.
If I ever write a book I think it should be about the best intentions of my online shopping carts. Or maybe something more interesting. The jury is still out on this one.
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